Developing resilience has long been recognized as a means of surviving individual crises, extreme change and difficulties in interpersonal interactions and relationships.  The pandemic has highlighted and heightened that need for resilience.  For mediators and others whose work seeks to support parties/clients in turmoil it is a key resource.

This article seeks to help parties/clients understand how to support themselves prior to and during their engagement in mediation. It also seeks to help mediators and others in the helping professions develop their own resilience, including avoiding becoming a ‘lightning rod’ of emotional reactions between the parties/clients whom they are serving.

Contents:

• The need for adaptive Systems
• The 5 ‘A’s
• What lies behind the 5 ‘A’s
• Moving forward with an action checklist

The need for adaptive Systems:

Human beings are animals.  Charles Darwin (in ‘On the Origin of Species’, 5th edition, 1869) introduced the phrase “survival of the fittest” to mean “better designed for an immediate local environment”.  To survive we need to adapt to our surrounding eco-systems at a macro and micro level.  If we can change we can accommodate the challenges facing us. This is as true in business and science as it is for healthcare professionals.

This article seeks to bridge national cultural differences in behaviours and norms.  Some differences across cultural manifestations of the approaches suggested in response to this paper may emerge. But the basic premise behind what is offered below is that we human beings have emerged from the animal kingdom, no matter in which continent, and that we have similar needs to survive.

The 5 ‘A’s:

To meet the challenge of crisis  we are thrown into an uncomfortable place.  We need to react appropriately, thinking about the short-term requirements as well as the long-term implications. We often need to act fast. Our personality preferences may require differing amounts of encouragement, engagement, reflection time, planning time, research into options available, inclusion, affection, control. Such requirements may be diagonally opposed to those closest to us or parties in a mediation or clients, causing friction, discomfort and even more need for inner strength.

My model of the 5 ‘A’s was designed to be a framework to help us think about how to build inner strength through resilience. This does not imply that any individual coping mechanism used to date is wrong, nor is it any criticism of alternate responses to change.  Rather, the 5’A’s represent a focused approach through which to work out how best to respond to a crisis that has emerged, in a way that is practical and individually appropriate.

The 5 ‘As’ that follow are most usefully addressed in a linear, iterative fashion. However, they can also help in different orders.  They seek to help each of us think about how to build inner strength through resilience.

1. Acknowledge:

The reality of the situation facing you: It is not a mirage; it is reality

Your feelings: They are real too; they are deep; they need to be listened to

Any echoes of past experiences: You may have felt out of control; this could impact how you might respond now if not acknowledged now

2. Accept:

That change is needed: It may be uncomfortable; it may get in the way of plans and hopes; it may feel frightening

That the challenges facing you are not in your control; your response to them is

3. Acclimatize:

To the impacts of the challenge(s) on your way of life: Your feelings; your interactions with others; your approach to what you need to address and ride out the challenge(s) facing you; the priorities you need to implement from basic needs of food and shelter to emotional needs

4. Align:

Your needs and thoughts with the reality of the situation: Can you do what you want to do or do you need to adjust your thoughts? Can you remove any blocks to new behaviours, activities  or approaches which might get in the way?

5. Act:

Put into action what it is in your gift to do: What you have control over; what you can influence; what gives you energy; what supports you

Create an environment at home or work or in society in which you can be productive

What lies behind the 5 ‘A’s?

Psychological resilience has been defined as ‘the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis’ and is seen to exist ‘when the person uses mental processes and behaviours to protect the self from the potential negative effects of stressors’. (Wikipedia)

Key to the usage of the 5 ‘A’s as a route to building resilience and inner strength in times of crisis is an awareness that previous ways of behaving and reacting in ‘normal’ times may need to be unlearnt and/or adapted. The sunlight emerging from this is a liberation or freedom from conditioning to the known.  The cloud that could overshadow it is having the courage to change. The 5 ‘A’s are a scaffold on which to hang that courage, step by step, in order to address the particular challenge or challenges which have created a crisis and through which to create a new ‘normal’ for the duration of the crisis.

Beyond an individual crisis, however, are ongoing challenges, including the need for mediation, that can prompt a need for adaptability. Like drawing or learning a musical instrument, the more practice there is in adapting, the less scary this is and the more skilled someone can become at developing resilience.  So behind the steps of the 5 ‘A’s is an ongoing framework - another scaffold - against which to continually refresh and refine approaches to change, including when there is a long-term crisis lasting more than a few months, such as the coronavirus pandemic.  I call these the 5 ‘re-A’s’:

1. re-Acknowledge:

The challenges that are reality

Your reaction to the challenge: Your feelings, worries, past successes in resilience-building

2. re-Accept:

The shift in mindset that is needed to meet the challenge(s)

That the activities you will need to undertake are in your control: This includes overcoming any blocks to meeting past challenges that need addressing

3. re-Acclimatise:

To the reality and ongoing changes you need to make to the way you live, including: Your feelings; your interactions with others; your approach to what you need to address; the priorities you need to implement, from basic needs of food and shelter to emotional needs

4. re-Align:

How you have adapted to past challenges and what you have recognised you need to keep or change or adapt to the current challenge or ongoing, long-term challenge

5. re-Act:

Put in place your action plan: New, amended or previous approaches

Moving forward with an action checklist:

The Table below offers ideas to consider when using the scaffold of the 5 ‘A’s and the 5 ‘re-A’s:

‍

‍

When using the 5 ‘A’s and ‘re-A’s scaffold as individuals it is important to bear in mind that we all have ‘hot buttons’, or issues that upset us, and which, if pressed, can cause us to be anxious, stressed, angry or sad. In turn this can impact the effectiveness of collaborative actions or requirements in times of crisis and impact on our resilience and inner strength.  

Additionally, when developing our own resilience and inner strength, others may be doing the same. As a result, it is wise to factor in the need for psychological safety for ourselves and others when developing appropriate courses of action. That may mean more time is needed as we recognise diverse approaches to life, individual cultural and sub-cultural norms, different personality needs, different perspectives on appropriate actions to take for the able-bodied and less able-bodied, those of different races and religious beliefs to our own. But it is time well spent and could save time overcoming inter-personal hurdles that need vaulting in the longer term and help in settling a mediation.

It is also worth remembering that giving to others is a known antidote to stress, in turn, therefore, giving strength to ourselves. When planning how to build inner strength and resilience for ourselves, in family units across teams  and for a mediation developing a capacity through which to forgive others who may not realise that they have caused stress along the way can be additionally helpful.

When teams or two mediation parties need to re-assess how they can function with greater adaptability in a crisis the 5 ‘A’s and ‘re-A’s scaffold can also help identify what the challenges are that need addressing whilst providing a common language for all team members.  Recognizing – and acknowledging –differences and needs will be important.  So too will be a refocused clarity of purpose, roles, communication methods (both formal and informal, transactional (tasks) and relational (interpersonal support)), structure (allowing space for work and adjusting deadlines where possible to accommodate new ways of working), as well as, for example, scenario planning for cash-flows, funding options, sales flows, supply-chain requirements.

The approach to building inner strength and resilience in times of crisis posited in this paper is endorsed by words from a familiar quotation to ‘accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.’  Understanding and knowing our individual needs and the needs of others is fundamental. Recognizing the losses of familiar routines, physical connections and presence and the uncertainties that can be caused by a crisis highlight what is at stake without taking action.  Addressing uncertainties by taking control is not only practical – it is enormously empowering, re-setting norms, expectations, predictability and a sense of safety, and can thereby lead to (re-) building inner strength and resilience.

Susan Blum has over 35 years of working experience within the Human Rights field (UNHCR and The British Refugee Council), as a management consultant focusing on organisation behaviours, culture and change (Coopers and Lybrand Deloitte, PricewaterhouseCoopers and IBM) and as an accredited Executive and Team Coach, Civil and Workplace Mediator (Susan.M.Blum Ltd.).

If you wish to discuss the subject of this paper or specific issues raised by it please do not hesitate to contact Susan at susan@smblumltd.com or on her mobile: 07391 748182.

‍